Archive for the '1' Category

09
Nov
09

Wavy lows

I know this has happened to you too. If it hasn’t t then you don’t exist.
Everything goes wrong all at once. Yeah. That nadir in the wave of luck, where everything goes wrong.
With me however, the precision in timing that my ill fate has always ensured to maintain has enabled me to realize the exact when-abouts of it’s next strike.
It happens twice.

a) From about a week before my end semester exams (I’m in my fourth year, and am a
student at DOD and this phenomenon still prevails, so no, pressure has
nothing to do with it)
b) Around the 21st of May.

From my fuccha days itself, I began to realize that there was more than one reason to dread the end-sems.
Wallet losing, computer crashing, credit cards going ~poof~, phone (Integral factor in satiating man’s social appetite) in the laundry, multiple major hand cuts {With a saw (Workshop, 2007) , With a cutter (Random design end-sem, 2007) } ..and some other similar results of my end-sem jinx that evade my recollection as of now.
I just lost my debit card….So stack another point up for the end-sem jinx.
So, with my hands safely in my pockets and far from sharp objects for the time being, I realize there’s no fighting it. The wave shall always have its way. Sigh.

PS : Point (b) above was added purely for whatever slight dramatic effect it could manage to bring about :|

02
Nov
09

I need an education !

Looking up places people go and the stuff they do…the awesome folk at HP labs and Microsoft Research…The awesome stuff like face recognition and gaze tracking and virtual worlds….The opportunity to be a part of the projects at ETC (http://www.etc.cmu.edu/) is dream-like… So much to learn, so freakin expensive and no one to teach….Four years at IIT-G DOD later, I cant help but just hear myself shout out that “I need an education”.

08
Oct
09

Predictability?

A little less than over a year ago I remember walking down the wet, puddle-ridden roads of a rain hit IIT Guwahati campus with a really good friend, at night having a conversation more strikingly philosophical than our usual verbal grind.

The irking thought that, I had no idea of what I’d be doing and where I’d be a few months from then, was running through my head like a pestering insect. I craved some predictability. Some strong sense of knowing. Some clue about what may lie ahead for a ‘Not-the-brightest’ student of this college.

The conversation was remarkably opposed by my friend who had everything that a person could ask for to have an overdose of predictability in her life !

Between that day and now, the unpredictable nature of life has just amazed me and has been the best thing ever !

Point of views change completely in just a few months. Such is the unpredictability of existence.  I love it …Simply because…I never thought of the possibility of things being unpredictably..Good !

Everything being predictable and laid before you, isn’t perhaps the best thing in the world after all, is it?

26
Feb
09

AS 01 N-8308

This was something I had conjured up about two years ago (Hence please ignore the slightly juvenile undertone :) ) one night while I was up late at home.  Its based upon that old worn out Fiat car that stood stranded for years in front of the Transit Complex and the rumors that surrounded it

“The guy was in his Mtech second year….it belonged to him….i’m telling you….3rd year ke bhaiya ne bataya tha mere ko …and since his accident 8 years ago..its just been there and no one dares go near it because it’s…it’s.. CURSED.. it’s…it’s.. POSESSED…it’s…..”

“its just a CAR for crying out loud!” intervened Rohan at just the right moment avoiding Rachit from blowing a fuse yet again based on baseless hearsay.

“arrey, I’m telling you na , that car is creepy….haven’t you seen it yet? we’ve been here for 3 months already!….”

“OF COURSE I’ve seen it on my way to the workshop classes but it wasn’t remotely creepy, man!” claimed Rohan.

A short silence followed during which Rachit stared at the wall and then went on…. “the night’s the dawn of the dead”…….

“the WHAT??…. man !you’ve got go easy on the XFiles or wherever that came from!….” said Rohan, wondering if he was keeping Rachit beyond his regular bedtime with their late Friday night bakar.

Finally Rachit broke his stare off the wall, to look at Rohan “the night’s when that Mtech fellow returns to be around the car….so obviously you don’t find the area strange during…..”

“the guy’s dead according to you….and he comes back eh?” inquired Rohan.

“that’s what’s so strange about this!” earnestly explained Rachit.

An open mouthed moment later Rohan continued “HOW on earth do you come up with all this??….HAHAHAHA!!”

“you know what’s wrong with you??….you’re not a believer! and you know why? because you’re basically SCARED to face the truth!” concluded Rachit amidst some continued laughter which took a moment to stop and then Rohan spoke ..“believer??….in what?

Scared??….of what ?

Of spooks and stuff??…..you’ve got to be kidding me!”

“well I think you ARE scared…..and I pity the fact that you don’t have the power to believe!”

“oh so all this is a POWER now??well superman….sorry to be your kryptonite but this paranormal stuff you’re into is ABSOLUTE hogwash and I don’t have the POWER to believe in this simply because I’m……I’m…well….”

“scared of it? Scared of it being true?”

“NO….i’m of the opinion that its just always logical stuff whose logic is tough to realize….and there’s just NOTHING to fear in a car that’s not been maintained over the years….”

“yeah sure….that’s what Scully said BEFORE she became a believer…..”

“Now who’s Scully??”

“x files”

“I warned you about that show…..it’ll drive you cra..”

“THINK about it….why wouldn’t the officials of the college just remove the car from there? Its an eyesore and yet they’ll still keep it there….you know why?? ….”

“PERHAPS,coz they have BETTER THINGS to do…?!”

Rohan’s last comment seemed to have silenced Rachit. But winning the battle of beliefs didn’t seem to bring him much pleasure….perhaps it was the fact that the guy he proved wrong was one of the best friends his 3 month’s at IIT had churned out….and this friendship….he ‘believed’ in….

“listen if it really means SO much to you…….”

Breaking off a renewed stare , at the floor this time, Rachit rose his head.

“let’s go check out the car……what do you say?” Rohan concluded

“you sure you’re ready for this?”

“I PROPOSED it!”

“but its 1AM!”

“well……the night’s the dawn of the dead ….aint it?”

“wow!chal…..mein abhi jacket pehen ke aaya!”

and Rachit was off while Rohan went off outside Kameng into the cold night……

the stroll towards the transit complex was plagued by a thick fog covering almost every inch of cold ground ahead of them, the trees and bushes, quite close to them, rustled in the cold wind of the night…..the eerie atmosphere shut down any thoughts Rachit and Rohan had of continuing their debate or even of questioning why on earth they were out there and what they were looking for?……but soon the fog cleared a bit….and then a bit more…..until the visibility was good enough…..good enough to see the abandoned fiat ahead of them……

“well what now?” inquired Rohan

“I don’t know….you…you proposed the plan” stammered Rachit.

“I don’t see anything creepy about this even now!” said Rohan….relieving himself a bit having voiced the lie.

“you….you don’t?” asked Rachit, perplexed.

“no,of coure not! Do you??”

“hmm…no…lets go back then!”suggested Rachit.

The cold breeze grew stronger and yet the fog grew thicker, further adding reason for Rachit and Rohan to retreat to their rooms to resume their bakar .

“Are you two fuchhas??”

the sudden emergence of the voice from right behind them combined with the fact that it seemed to belong to a senior, kept the two of them rooted to their feet with the chill going down their spine rather slowly in the cold winter.

“well??”

finally Rohan managed to speak.. “yes sir, we are.”

“WHAT on earth are you two doing here??”

“well sir…..we just….were walking …..and…”

“oh…..its the fiat isn’t it??”

perplexed by the suddenness of the question and mystified about whether their faces really revealed so much….they simply nodded….

“yeah …. I knew it…..who are you guys, anyway?”

“my name is Rohan…..and this is Rachit”

“hi…..i’m Yashwardhan…..so this old fiat REALLY intrigues you eh?”

finally Rachit spoke up…. “well actually, we were wondering whom this fiat belonged to…..and …..why is it still here…. I mean…”

“you mean you STILL don’t know??”

“well…..not really….”

The cold was growing unbearable while the senior began to speak

“2 years ago professor Rathore tried to remove this car from this spot…..

but ……..soon he realized….what the car represented and..…..well..….he then let the fiat be.”

“but what DOES this scrap represent??” probed Rachit “and WHAT changed Rathore’s mind??”

The senior now rubbed his gloved hands against each other and said “well……beats me…..why don’t you just ask the prof?……its getting really cold…..I’m off …..and you fuchhas better get back too…..!”

with that the senior rushed off ,adjusting his cap and scarf, into the fog…..

“BIG help that guy was….”said Rohan on their way back.

“yeah,I really thought he knew something about it!…..just goes to show that even our seniors don’t know anything about the car!!” said Rachit

“I’m never wasting time like that again!!….all we got was….was…..another rumour….”

“yeah…. that senior really thinks we’re dumb enough to go upto a prof and ask him to tell us THE ghost story..!”

“hahahaha….well….good night….”

“good night” said Rachit and they departed to their rooms for the night……

The following week, the assignments and quizzes kept Rachit and Rohan too busy to talk about last Friday’s experience…….although as the week passed, their curiosity grew and by the time Friday arrived yet again…..and professor Rathore walked briskly past them…..relieving themselves of the mounting curiosity didn’t seem so ‘dumb’ anymore….

“Excuse me sir…..” said Rohan

Professor Rathore turned to look at Rohan

“Yes, what is it?if you have some doubts, please ask me later, I have a meeting……..”

“Sir, it’s just a small inquiry” pleaded Rohan.

“What about?” asked professor Rathore, continuing to walk again……

“It’s about the….the fiat outside the transit complex sir…..”

“Well, its not mine,if that’s what you’re asking!”said the professor with a slight indignation in his tone now.

“No sir….we wondered why it has not been removed from there yet?”asked Rohan, slowly realizing the foolishness of this situation that he had created!

Now clearly angered, the professor said

“It is NOT MY responsibility! Now if you’ll excuse me…..”

This was not going the right way for them and Rachit realized how imprudent the professor must think they were and decided to put the blame of the situation upon its true culprit.

“Actually sir, it was a senior named Yashwardhan who told us to ask you all this! ….That’s why we….”

Now, to Rachit’s astonishment the professsor stopped and turned to face the boys….clearly the professor had had enough of this!

Both of them got ready to receive a fit of rage that they didn’t deserve….the senior would finally have the last mocking laugh….why did they have to succumb to their curiosty??……

But when the professor spoke next….he did so with a voice lower in pitch, full of control and yet devoid of any calm

“Where’d you meet Yashwardhan?”

“We….we… met him outside the transit complex last week”

Rachit’s statement seemed to have had a very disturbing effect on the professor….he stared at them with horror struck eyes and said in a hushed, petrified tone with an expressionless face “he….he spoke to you?”

“well…..yes s..sir…. I told you ,that senior was the one who told us to ask you all that!….”

“Yashwardhan sent you here……to me……?”

The professor’s eyes now seemed hollow…his hands began to quiver….yet his mind remained transfixed upon a thought….a memory…..a dream…..he had had two years ago……………

It was the middle of august…the night was at its peak of darkness only to be disturbed by the intermittent jolts of lightning that broke all calm with the thunder that followed…….

The air conditioner hissed out cool air into professor Rathore’s room and yet…..he was drenched in sweat…..his face contorted as he struggled to wake up…..but his mind refused to abide….he was being pulled…..pulled away from the the lights of life……pulled into the dark…..and from the deepest regions of the dark, shot out a blinding light……from which a shadow arose………..and spoke……….

“I wish to remain.”

The professor found himself staring at the shadow with utter disbelief ……he didn’t know where he was…..he didn’t know why he was here…..he didn’t know why his open mouth could not speak………..but he DID know that voice.

“I wish it remain” the shadow continued.

Finally managing to find some words the professor said “but you died in it. I can’t live with it around me any more….. I just can’t!

“I wish that it remain……I wish to stay”

And with that the shadow disappeared into the light and the darkness gave way to reality…….professor Rathore shot upright in his bed……wiped sweat off of his face……and muttered to himself amidst his gasps for breath….. “ you ….shall stay.”

“Sir…… should……should I get you some water?!” asked Rohan, concerned.

The professor now collected himself and although thoughts continued to race in his head and the hopes that a dream had sown in his heart long ago were being realized and confirmed now right before his eyes….he managed to speak….

“LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY, you are not to speak of what you saw to anyone……ANYONE! I have stayed quiet for too long about this and cant let two students ruin the peace of the institute!….DO you understand??”

shaken by the severity in the voice…..they nodded….

Yet, unable to hold himself back after getting this unexpected response, Rohan managed to speak “…..sir…do….you…you …know Yashwardhan…..?…”

The professor heaved a heavy sigh, stared straight into Rohan’s eyes and said…. “I………Yash was………..IS……my son..….he died 8 years ago….”

That night Rachit and Rohan’s bakar comprised of a long silence, with both of them unable to comprehend the situation…..unable to realize where logic lost its way…….unable to distinguish reality from imagination……finally Rohan spoke up…. “hey Rachit…. I believe.”

*********************

23
Jan
09

Quirky tag !

Pande zee tagged me on this quirky tag thing !
The Rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them. (tagged all)
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

6 random quirks about me :

1> I hate it when my surname’s mispronounced….Its not like Chatterji’s are a rarity ! They’ve been the big moustached comics in almost all ’70s wale movies ! So when people go ‘Chhutterji’….Its insulting to Indian cinema’s glory days !!

2> I have precisely 2 sweatshirts , which are very diligently and mysteriously regulated in their wear to last the 2 colder months of the semester without you noticing ! …Oh..umm….No one noticed right ?!

3> Every 16 of the 21 regular meals in a week sees me spilling food on myself and the table. ( I’ve lost many a brave shirts to this particularly annoying quirk :/ )

4> I really wished to be a part of Cadence once and practised hard….ummmm….really ! :O

5> I’ve this fixation of always asking for extra salt on my large popcorn ( 100 rupees ka jumbo combo wala! ), before a movie. This allows me to enjoy the salt amidst the popcorn all by myself….Oh yeah..forgot to mention…I hate sharing that popcorn… :x

6> I hate to read books without a story…I feel those books just offer an opinion framed by someone else and thrown upon you to cough up later….nothing new results….So, as much as I may whack myself for this, I just think a lot ! And like people who think differently…All my friends tend to have that trait in them…just helps me think more :)

I tag Anamay and Shobhan for now !

12
Jan
09

Dont ask…Wont tell….

It’s disgust and hatred and every other pathetic feeling my worst nightmares could ever have conjured….it all came down at once…it all struck together like a shiny white lightening bolt revealing itself so boldly…shamelessly proud of its disaster causing capability. The dark and gloomy nights without reason always had some misfortune to portend. It did. It happened. The soggy letter in the blue envelope on the 27th of November contained in it the onslaught of emotional dilemma with every blue inked letter….A minute later a blur is all that the world was…my eyes were dry but my legs were moving….the trees around the thin muddy road were a continuous green shroud I tried running away from….The letter crushed in my right hand, now floated into the shroud while my legs went further away from it. Shirt soaked with sweat…I wanted to get away….from reason…from people…from the people wanting a reason…from life…from wanting to live…from wanting to create more of those ephemeral moments of joy in a lifeless plague of sorrow….from sarcasm….from expectations….from everything tangible…and especially everything else….I wanted like every one else in the world, to have the supernatural happen….it after all is the reason we live.( “Happy moments are like miracles that happen to you and no one else…this makes us feel special…momentarily superior…” ). I wished to be absorbed by nothingness….to be numb for life….to not think and not be thought of for a lifetime….It wouldn’t happen of course….life continued and I was absorbed once again by change…The blue envelope is far behind in the woods of that night…lost along with the lesson on the futility of life that it seeked to preach.

30
Dec
08

Blah !

Disregarding the obnoxious morons who consider writing your heart out about your personal opinions about personal issues on blogs by considering it ‘less sophisticated’ or way below the realm of their intellectual palate, I just cant help degrade myself to writing about how indebted I am to some of the closest friends in my life. Friends are an incredibly important feature in my life and for some reason i just consider them to be paramount to everything else. I hate it when there’s a hierarchy to pass through with some people to reach a stage where you can call whenever you wish to, without the formal protocols prefacing each ensuing conversation! You know, the people who’ll be like…”oh back then?! We were just acquaintances! ” and stuff like that…
I hate changes…its like this pesky insect on the dinner table that gets into your plate of life JUST when its full of the best from the edible world (Sausage pizza with extra cheese and pineapple with a hot chocolate fudge by the side) and you’re raring to dig in ! I especially hate change when it’s found inhabiting a close friend. …you know…the one’s with whom, after a lot of effort, you’ve managed to get beyond the “we’re just acquaintances” phase !! Its a weird comfort zone with close friends and losing out on that brings change…i hate it !
Damn that pesky life sucking insect.

I write my blogs not so that people read them and comment upon them…the last thing I wish to do is send in my blog’s URL to everybody on my gtalk contact list, desperately wanting to know whether what I did with the last 5 minutes of my life was worthwhile and makes me a better person or not ! But I write here just to vent off my most absurd thoughts. So if you have an opinion about whatever I write,
a) if its about the grammar or your contrary views upon a certain line, then i really dont care and fervently wish you would die a violent death, so dont bother.
b) if its a light hearted jocular comment about whatever you think my above garble was about…then lemme know sometime, whenever we talk next…as friends….and not ‘acquaintances’ .