I am a highly motivated, result-oriented, dynamic individual committed to my work. I am an innovative, entrepreneurial worker and a team player with great problem solving capabilities

…It’s absurd how many such utopian specimens of the modern age working class hero actually exist. All ‘entrepreneurial’ clones, filled with gas and nothing but, only to find release on any customizable personal e-brag-spot.

Even a remotely logical scrutiny of such esoteric self-descriptions would break it down to

 I can read, write and talk to fellow humans. I have a past and look forward to a future

Sure it’s tough to get a job these days and enhancing one’s professional portrait with airy hazy jargon isn’t exactly illegal, but it sure has begun sounding increasingly un-innovative and non-entrepreneurial if anything.

Most used words on LinkedIn:

Innovative, Extensive Experience, Results-Oriented, Dynamic, Proven Track Record, Team Player, Fast-Paced, Problem Solver and Entrepreneurial.

Self-contradictory to the core.